Beyond the surface

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Among Myers-Briggs types, INTPs are probably the type least likely to have children and the type least suited to stay-at-home-parenthood, and it’s not hard to figure out why. You constantly have a little person in your face and never get a moment of silence or solitude, which is draining for I’s. You deal mostly with basic physical needs of a person who (as an infant and toddler) isn’t capable of abstraction, which is boring for N’s. You need a lot of patience, empathy, and emotional responsiveness because young children are irrational by nature, which is challenging for T’s. And you need an ability to self-regulate and an organized system to counter the chaos, which is not an easy task for P’s. All of this leaves me utterly exhausted, mentally starved, and emotionally drained at the end of the day.

Then there are all the extraneous activities that typical SAHMs spend a lot of time on: crafting, baking, sewing, knitting, decorating, S-type activities ad nauseum. I completely avoid those activities, as I can’t think of anything less interesting.

But if you look beyond all that surface stuff, I think being an INTP mom is awesome, and I think INTPs (and NTs in general) are exceptionally well-suited to parenthood. Why? Exactly because it’s easy for us to look beyond the surface stuff. Continue reading “Beyond the surface”

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Is this book about anything?

In the past several years it seems like nonfiction books have been steadily rising in numbers and popularity while dropping in the amount of actual information they contain.  Every time I go to the library or bookstore, there are cutesy new nonfiction books that favor breadth over depth, and contain little more than a smattering of facts and anecdotes arranged around a loose theme. I don’t know if there’s a name for this genre, but I call it “pop nonfiction”. Mary Roach, Bill Bryson, and Malcolm Gladwell are some of the authors that come to mind. Continue reading “Is this book about anything?”

Why I blog

In a nutshell, here’s why I started this blog: INTPs are very rare (1-3% of the population). INTP women are even more rare. INTP women who are married or have found their life partner are even more rare. (I suspect that, due to our unique characteristics, INTPs have the lowest rates of coupling among all the Myers-Briggs types.) And INTP women who have or want to have children are even more rare.

When I became a mom, I quickly realized that in the vast world of mom blogs, there was not one that spoke to me. I was tired of reading about boring mom crap like crafts and diaper bags and accepting your post-baby body. On the other hand, there also weren’t any parenting voices in the INTP world. All of the INTP blogs I’d read were written from a solitary place, and those that wrote about relationships were usually not about living in a fulfilling marriage and raising a family.

Being a stay-at-home mom and an INTP seems like an oxymoron because the worlds are so far apart that they don’t really have anything in common. So I’m here to write about mom stuff that INTPs care about, and INTP stuff through the lens of being a mom (and wife).

Going forward, my goal is to publish at least one post a week. I plan to blog about all of my various interests (science, art, hiking, books, Myers-Briggs, general philosophizing) as well as marriage and motherhood– anything that catches my mind as an INTP mom that I think someone else might be interested in.

I’ll write about things in my personal life as long as they might be interesting to other people or allow me to address universal topics. But you will never see gratuitous baby updates because I know that nobody outside of our family cares how many teeth AJ has, how she eats sandwiches, or what her favorite bath toy is. (If you do happen to care about that stuff, we have a separate blog for baby updates. Email me for the link if you’re interested.) Here are some other things you will never read about on my blog: crafting, anything DIY, fashion, baby gear and clothing, recipes, etc.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think, and if there’s anything else you’d like to see me blog about.

Hunkering

I am currently in a state of limbo waiting for things to change over which I have no control. I’m in a holding pattern, unable to make progress. I feel like all I’m doing is converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

This metaphysical hunkering feels similar to the hunkering I did during a three-month NOLS expedition in the Alaska wilderness in 2008. We spent a lot of time hunkering in our tents on that expedition. Sometimes because of weather, like the three soggy days spent camped by the side of a gravel road waiting for the rain to stop and the river to subside so we could wade across. On other occasions we hunkered while waiting for food or rescue.

Our first hunker was spent next to a makeshift runway we had built in a humid valley, waiting for the clouds to lift so a small plane could land with our rations. We had already been without food for two days, having been unable to get to the site where we had planned to meet the plane for our re-ration. Instead we bushwhacked through a dense forest and traversed a raging river to find a spot where a plane might be able to land, and cut down small trees to make a runway.

I hunkered here.
I hunkered here.

Continue reading “Hunkering”