This is why we can’t be friends

I belong to a large moms’ group and take my daughter to a lot of playdates in hopes of making friends for her and for myself. I’ve been trying really hard to make friends with other moms, but each time I hear something like one of the following quotes, it makes my brain freeze up and blink in big letters: we can never be friends.

“I was so excited to be married at 19. For my whole life, all I ever wanted was to get married and have kids. I never cared about having a career or going to college.”

“I really wanted a little girl so I could dress her up in cute outfits and put bows in her hair. I cried when I found out I was having a boy. Boy clothes are so boring.”

“My toddler has never seen a doctor in his life. We stay as far away from them as possible.”

“I’ve been pinning ideas for her first birthday party ever since she was born.”

Hearing other moms utter things like these on a regular basis makes me want to weep with despair that I will never find another mom with whom I have anything in common.

6 thoughts on “This is why we can’t be friends

  1. * waves hi *

    I’m an INTJ mom. I got married at 22, but I have two engineering degrees and a career. My four-month-old daughter wears mostly gender-neutral onesies and is up to date on her vaccinations. I have never “pinned” anything. I’m an atheist and a feminist, and my husband and I go camping and hiking regularly. Unfortunately I’m not geographically convenient to you (I live in Atlanta), but we can be internet friends if you’d like. 🙂

    1. Hi Jenny, I am an INTP mom that lives in Atlanta. I have two masters (art and library science) and a full time career as an archivist. My son is 19 months old, has a quick mind, and is also up to date with his vaccinations. I don’t get to spend as much time with him as I would like, but I love watching him learn in the time I do have. I would love to meetup for an intellectual playdate.

      Intp Mom I have really enjoyed reading your blog and have definitely experienced many of the things noted, thank you for sharing.

  2. Totally get it… I’m an InTP and never have been able to successfully be a part of a moms club or a group of mom friends… I just don’t get them… I just figured I was weird…

  3. I’m so happy to have found your blog. After fruitless questing for anything maternal that i could relate to (hard enough to relate to a woman in any context – even in books and movies, even when the women are space pirates fighting zombies, their bodices still heave and 90% of the time there is a tearful outburst at some confused, highly rational male in the story that leads to unnecessary conflict/plot point), one day i finally wondered what any fellow intps had to say about motherhood – perhaps they are weeping, too, over the sickening pastels and corporate branding of toddlers, perhaps they are equally nonplussed by the scrapbooking circles. It’s awesome to find a kindred spirit – thanks for sharing your maternal adventures! 🙂

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